Premature ejaculation – coming too fast – is a serious problem for a lot of men. Up to a third of all men in their 20s or 30s will suffer from it at some point in time. When men get into their 40s and 50s it can become even more common – as can erectile dysfunction.
The good news is that premature ejaculation can be dealt with. It may take some patience and some effort, but you can overcome it and reach peak sexual performance. The main issue is to not get too stressed about it because your mental focus is very important when it comes to dealing with ejaculating too soon.
Remember you are not alone, and it is something you can deal with if you just give it time.
Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation means many different things to different people. From a medical point of view, it is defined as having an orgasm less than a minute after penetrating your partner. Some people call it early ejaculation or rapid ejaculation.
But everyone has their own definition of what normal ejaculation is, what delayed ejaculation is, and what it means when you cannot control ejaculation. It could be cumming before you even enter your partner. It could be having an orgasm in two or three minutes. It’s only a problem if it bothers either you or your partner.
Premature ejaculation can have many causes. Most likely it’s about psychological and biological factors and can be dealt with by learning pelvic floor muscle training that will help distract you from orgasm. In other cases, it’s a physical problem. In those cases, you can treat premature ejaculation by using medications, numbing cream, or other things designed to desensitize your dick.
No matter what the cause you can find a way to deal with premature ejaculation. It doesn’t have to ruin your sex life forever. You just need to find out what is causing it and then find a solution.
Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is like premature ejaculation. This is when your dick simply won’t cooperate with what you are trying to do. You are about to make love to your woman, and it won’t get hard. Or else it gets hard and then after you enter her goes soft without you ejaculating.
Erectile dysfunction has almost the exact same causes as premature ejaculation. And like premature ejaculation happens to a ton of guys. There is no reason to feel bad about it. What you need to do is figure out if it is due to psychological and biological factors. Then take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen in the future.
Like premature ejaculation, once erectile dysfunction happens once, you’ll be so nervous about it the next time that it probably will happen again. This is why you want to figure out right away what is causing it and how to make it a thing of the past.
Delay Ejaculation
If you are suffering from premature ejaculation the obvious goal is to delay ejaculation for as long as possible. But how do you delay ejaculation? There are many methods, and each will vary depending on what is causing your problem.
Some men can think of baseball or some other non-sexual thing once they are inside a woman. Others can use meditation to put them in a more relaxed frame of mind. For others simply wearing a condom will be enough to delay ejaculation. Others will need numbing agents. For some medication will work to delay ejaculation.
Therefore, your goal is to figure out what is causing your premature ejaculation and then take the needed steps to make it a thing of the past. You can do this. To delay ejaculation is something that is in your hands, and you can make it happen.
Male Sexual Dysfunction
Not being able to get it up or else experiencing premature ejaculation are the two main male sexual dysfunctions. If you can’t get hard enough to stick it in your partner, she’s going to be disappointed.
If you do get hard but them become a two-pump chump, she might be flattered the first time but if it keeps happening is going to be a lot less happy about it.
The good news is that research suggests it is easy and common to treat premature ejaculation, sexual dysfunction, and all manner of ejaculatory problems, and have satisfying sexual relationships for the rest of your life. No matter what your problem is, a physical or mental health professional has looked at it and come up with a solution.
There is no reason at all that you should have to live with male sexual dysfunction in your intimate relationships. You can find a way to get hard, stay hard and satisfy your woman. That way she’ll want to come back for more and will brag about you to her friends (who may want to pay you a visit!)
Lifelong Premature Ejaculation
Lifelong premature ejaculation starts out when you first have sex. Like many or most men you are so excited to be interacting with a real pussy you shoot almost immediately. Most men figure that it’s not a big deal and try to do better the next time.
It becomes lifelong premature ejaculation when it happens every time you have sex. And that’s a bad thing. Because you expect to cum too quickly you always cum too quickly. And that will get you a bad reputation in bed very quickly.
That said lifelong premature ejaculation can be dealt with. You just need to have patience and figure out what is causing the problem and handle it head-on.
Natural Variable Premature Ejaculation
This is by far the most common form of premature ejaculation. It is called natural variable premature ejaculation because for a while you were a king in the sack. Women screamed out your name and told all their friends about you.
Then you suddenly had premature ejaculation. And then you kept having it. If it had been a one-time thing, you could have dealt with it. But now it’s happening every or nearly every time you have sex. That is what is evil about the natural variable of premature ejaculation.
But this can be dealt with. If you were king of the humps for a while you can get that back and be fucking in style in no time. You just have to figure out what is going on and then take action to make it a thing of the past.
Early Sexual Experiences
One thing that can have a huge effect on your premature ejaculation problems is your early ejaculation experiences. If your first time with a girl was with an understanding partner who got that you’d cum quick your first time you’ll probably have the confidence to hold out longer the second time.
If, however, your first time was with a bitch who made fun of you and then told all her friends you couldn’t last very long, that is going to damage your confidence. There may also be sexual abuse in your past, an embarrassing sexual failure or you’ve had psychological issues surrounding sexual activity.
This is how early sexual experiences affect us. If you had a bad first time you need to work on overcoming that bad experience. If you can get it out of your head, you’ll do better in the future. Don’t let your early sexual experiences define who you are now.
Performance Anxiety
The number one cause of coming too quickly is performance anxiety. Your mental state, when you start having sex, is extremely important to have a good encounter. If you psych yourself up convinced you are going to have premature ejaculation you will. If you don’t have performance anxiety you probably won’t.
The thing to do is to put your head in the right place and push away performance anxiety. If you just relax you might automatically make premature ejaculation a thing of the past.
Relationship Issues
If there are issues in your relationship that in and of itself can cause premature ejaculation. If you and your partner are constantly fighting your dick will want to get sex over with as quickly as possible. If you are cheating on your partner, it may cause guilt that will make you cum too quickly. If you are worried your partner is cheating on you that can also cause you to cum quickly.
Ask yourself, “Are there any issues in the relationship that may be causing my premature ejaculation?” Addressing those relationship issues may go a long way to solving your problem.
Sexual Intercourse
The way you approach sexual intercourse can have a major effect on your premature ejaculation problem. Do you jump on her and just jackhammer away? Don’t.
For one, that will give you too much stimulation and make you cum more quickly. For other women don’t like it when guys jackhammer. They’d much rather you both found your own rhythm.
You can also look at the way you have sexual intercourse. Doggy style will cause you to get more stimulation and cause you to orgasm more quickly. Girl on top will cause you to get less stimulation and last longer.
Examine the ways you have sexual intercourse and see if there is a way to make yourself last longer.
Sexual Encounters
The type of sexual encounters you have can also lead to premature ejaculation. Do you hook up with girls you barely know and don’t really care about? Your body will recognize these sexual encounters as fleeting and just make you cum quickly so you can move onto your next target.
Or do you wait until you’ve found the perfect girl? Then you may end up so excited that you shoot right away. Evaluating what type of sexual encounters, you have and finding the ones that are right for you will go a long way to fighting your premature ejaculation problem.
Penetrative Sex
Lots of guys think sex is all about penetration. It isn’t. For the guy that may be the end goal, but women look at it differently. Only 18% of women can cum from penetration. They need other types of stimulation.
That in general involves playing with her clit. You can use your fingers. You can go down on her. You can use toys. All of this avoids penetrative sex and gets her off. If you can make her cum before you enter her, she may not care how long the penetrative sex lasts.
And if she doesn’t care that will put less pressure on you and can help you overcome your premature ejaculation problems.
Kegel Exercises
One natural way you can train your body to last longer is by trying Kegel exercises. To find your muscles you need to do your Kegel exercises wait until the next time you have to pee. Then while peeing, stop your pee. Then let it start again. Those are the muscles you want to be using when you do your Kegel exercises. Doing Kegel exercises builds up your pelvic muscle floor, which gives you a lot more control over when you orgasm.
When you are not peeing do what you did to stop yourself from peeing. Now hold that for ten seconds. Then let go. Try to do this 10 times in a row every day and you may be well on your way to making premature ejaculation a thing of the past.
Biological Factors
Biological factors can lead to premature ejaculation. Some men simply have a very sensitive penis. That causes nearly any stimulation to make it shoot off super quick. If biological factors are causing you to cum too soon you should look at ways to make your penis less sensitive. You can try wearing a condom. You can use a condom that has numbing lube.
If the biological factors are too much for even that you can go to your doctor. He can prescribe anti-depressants that will make your penis less sensitive. You want to be aware if there are biological factors contributing to your premature ejaculation problems and if there are find the best ways to combat them.
Topical Creams
Topical creams are a great way to solve your ejaculation problems. You put them directly onto your dick and they desensitize it. It needs a lot more stimulation before it will cum. This is a direct way to deal with biological factors that inhibit your ability to last long enough to please your partner.
When you look for topical creams look for ones that are absorbed into the skin of your penis. That way they will desensitize you but won’t make your partner numb which would defeat the entire point of the exercise. Topical creams don’t require a prescription and can be easily ordered online.
Wait For Your Second Erection Before You Try Penetration
If you are in your 20s or 30s there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to get it up twice in one night. Hell, you may even be able to go three times. By your second erection, you are going to be less turned on than with your first erection. Use your second erection not your first to try for penetration. You can jerk off before your date so that sex will happen with your second erection. Or your partner can go down on you to get you to fill up her mouth. There are a number of ways not to use your first erection for sex but rather as a warmup activity. Then use your second erection for sex. You may find that just doing this helps you last a lot longer and makes sex better for you and your partner.
Practice When You Are Not Having Sex to Gain Better Control
Making premature ejaculation a thing of the past is all about gaining better control of your orgasms. The better control you have the longer you will last. It’s just that simple. One way to learn better control is to practice when you don’t have a sexual partner. You can gain better control through a process known as “edging.” https://www.health.com/sex/edging-sex
Boot up a porn video you like and then start jerking off to it. When you feel yourself about to cum, stop jerking off. Wait for your penis to calm down. Then start jerking off again.
Over a few weeks, you should be able to keep this going for up to an hour. Doing this will train your cock to last longer – and that can go a long way to making premature ejaculation a thing of the past when you are with a regular lover.
Premature Ejaculation is Part of A Complex Interaction With Your Partner
When it comes to premature ejaculation you have to realize it’s not all about you. It’s about a complex interaction with your partner that leads you to cum too soon. S
he may be touching you too much. She may for her own ego want you to cum too soon and doing things that are guaranteed to make you ejaculate prematurely. Or there may be psychological issues going on between the two of you.
Take a hard look at the complex interactions between you and your partner and figure out if there is something different the two of you can be doing to make you last longer.
Ejaculation Time
Before you try to fight premature ejaculation, you should make sure you have it in the first place. What is your actual ejaculation time?
If you are comparing your ejaculation time to guys on PornHub of course you are going to have what seems like premature ejaculation. Those guys are pros. Normal men can’t last a half-hour or more. And most women would get bored with fucking if we did.
Premature ejaculation is defined as having an ejaculation time of less than a minute. If you can last five minutes you are doing well. If your ejaculation time is 10 minutes or more, you are doing great. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ejaculation-problems/
Effective Therapy
If you’ve figured out that your premature ejaculation problems are psychological you should consider effective therapy. You can try at first to overcome it on your own. But sometimes you need the effective therapy of a professional.
This is not a dis on you. It’s just something that has to be done. You can get effective therapy for premature ejaculation after only three or four visits to a shrink. That may be expensive but it’s better to pay for effective therapy than it is to live through a lifetime of premature ejaculation. So, consider effective therapy if nothing you try to do on your own seems to work.
Try To Cum at The Same Time as Your Partner
As we said before, sex isn’t just about penetration – particularly for the woman. It’s about touching, kissing, and playing with her clit. The best sex is when you cum at the same time as your partner.
If you can get her all hot and bothered you won’t have to last that long. Use toys, eat her out, and then just when you can tell she is about to cum enter her. You’ll both end up cumming at the same time, she’ll be satisfied, and you won’t have to worry about your premature ejaculation problem. This can make it easier over time for you to overcome premature ejaculation.
Get Proper Medical Advice
If you were always good in bed and suddenly start suffering from premature ejaculation, it’s a good idea to get proper medical advice. Just visit your doctor and be completely honest with them about what’s been going on.
They may have a solution that will work fairly quickly. They may also have more insight into what is going on with you than you do yourself.
There’s no shame in talking to your doctor when you have a problem and don’t know how to address the issue yourself.
Risk Factors
Sex is risky. And when those risk factors start to add up it can become scary. Whether you are confident on the outside has nothing to do with what is going on in the back of your brain. If you are fucking someone else’s wife, you could end up with premature ejaculation. If you are fucking a hooker without a condom you could end up with premature ejaculation. It’s your brain adding up the risk factors and then deciding to make this sexual encounter end as quickly as possible and getting you out of it. Look at the risk factors with your sexual encounters, reduce the risk and see if you perform better in bed.
Takeaways
Many things can contribute to you cumming too soon. It can be psychological. It can be physical. Isolate what is happening to you when you have sex and figure out what is going on. Then take action. This can be anything from Kegel exercises to seeing a therapist. There is no reason at all to live with cumming too soon. Figure out the problem and then find the best way to deal with it.
